|image credit: istockphoto.com|
Note that the man didn't notice that Mary's shoes were new, and he has no idea how much he hurt her. It often happens that we offend people not realizing it, thinking that it is a fine thing to do, "not a big deal." We don't always know what meaning other people put into what is a mere nothing for us. But in many times, it is a big deal, and we should learn how to avoid offending others unintentionally. If you find it difficult, here three easy tips on how to recognize that you did something wrong and correct it:
1. A person yells at you, says something rude or looks at you dryly. It may be as well that the man or woman is grumpy and wants to spread his/her bad mood to others. In both cases, you should ask, "What's the matter?" with the most charming smile you can get out of yourself. If you did something wrong, they will immediately tell you what it was, and if they are in a bad mood, let them feel bad for letting it out on you, such a nice and polite individual.
2. You are directly told that you offended someone. If a person tells you straight to your face that you behaved like an asshole, you should admit that you were wrong (if you agree you were), or explain that your actions didn't mean any harm and you didn't realize that he/she would take offense. In either situation, apologize and try to end the conversation on a friendly note.
3. A person doesn't speak to you at all. Start a conversation yourself. Then you will get one of the reactions mentioned above, and then you will know what to do next.
And remember that if you don't talk, you will never find out what you are not doing right. Communication resolves complications, so you should always speak out your concerns if you have any. On the contrary, if someone offended you, consider that their actions may have been inadvertent as well, and forgive them, as to err is human, and humans we all are.